Can We Talk About How Awkward Tipping Has Become?

Just last night, I met my entire family in Fort Collins for a nice dinner. The dinner was at the Olive Garden, which is considered top-tier in my family.

With 18 people eating, drinking, and pocketing breadsticks, you can imagine the bill was hefty. What if I told you it was over $300? I know exactly how much because I paid. But that isn't what this article is about.

Now, I've had my struggles with learning and using percentages, so when the bill came, I just pretended to do the math in my head and wrote $75 on the tip line. If I did the math correctly, I think that percentage is 62ish percent.

But don't take it from me, here are the rules of tipping etiquette, especially in Northern Colorado. Let's take a look.

The rules of tipping

First of all, just because I tip 62ish percent doesn't mean I'm better than anybody else.

Now that that's out of the way, let's start small. Do you tip the barista at Starbucks? What about the local smoothie shop part-timer? And what about the pizza guy who had to turn around to grab your pizza box from the heater and then turn all the way back around to hand it to you?

A good rule of thumb is to only tip if the person has to actually wait on you. Like bringing you water, delivering unlimited breadsticks all night long, and grinding up cheese until it feels like your arm is about to fall off. That deserves a tip, but many say that doing small jobs, like a coffee maker or a pizza box grabber, doesn't, because it's very minimal work.

I recently spoke to a Starbucks employee, whom I will not name, and asked her about the tip button at the drive-thru. She said, "Sadie, that is the most awkward part of my job. Some people even get mad about being asked the question." -Mysterious Source

Wow.

But let's break it down even further.

Here are the official rules of tipping

Sit-down restaurants will set you back an additional 18-20% for the tip. The folks at the Olive Garden last night worked hard to please my large family, so of course they deserve a 62ish% tip.

But I'm no better than anyone else.

And what about the bartender? A good rule of thumb is to tip $1-$2 per drink they make. But you're also paying for the advice the bartender gives you about your crush, and because we're talking percentages, here's one: my crush was zero percent into me. But Mark, the bartender at Chili's, put things into perspective, so I gave him $3 per drink, which meant that for the entire night I tipped him $269.

But I'm no better than you.

Rounding it out, let's take a look at how much hairdressers expect to be tipped once they've cut the straw off your head and listened to you complain about your boss during your three-hour transformation.

The rumblings around town say 15-20%. And don't do what I do, which is tip well even if I hate it, because I can cry in the car and I'm too avoidant to make it a thing.

So the next time you go out, follow the tipping rules because nothing is free.